The Prank | Jessica Flory

Act I

Scene 1
(A High school hall is full of students going to classes. The bell rings and the hall empties except for one or two stragglers. Entering from a door stage right is a TEACHER and ETHAN, who is receiving the new student orientation. ETHAN is barely listening, but suddenly notices that he is walking alone. He turns to look back. The TEACHER has come to an abrupt halt and is listening intently to the radio in her hand.)

TEACHER

I'll be back in a moment. You're welcome to look around if you want. Just make sure you stay in this general area. (UNDER BREATH) Stupid teenagers... I can't believe they would do that to the bathroom. The bathroom of all places!

(Exit TEACHER stage right. ETHAN begins to wander through the hall, looking at the bulletins on the walls and such. Enter ANDREA stage left, who drops her books. She bends to pick them up, and ETHAN rushes over to help her. He notices that her eyes are red from crying.)

ANDREA

You can go; you're late for class already.

ETHAN

Nah… I don’t have a class, and the teacher who was escorting me just abandoned me, anyway.

ANDREA

Are you in trouble too?

ETHAN

No. No, I was getting the student orientation. I'm new.

ANDREA

Why did the teacher leave you?

ETHAN

I think it had something to do with teenagers and bathrooms.

ANDREA

(Stares at ETHAN for a moment, and then goes into a fit of sobs)

Stupid! Stupid! Stupid!

ETHAN

Are you okay? What's wrong?

ANDREA

I can't believe I was talked into that!

ETHAN

What? You flooded the bathroom?

ANDREA

I didn't want anything to do with it, I swear! It was Tommy's fault. He was behind the whole thing. He thought it was so funny, but... oh, I'm becoming like my brother! What if I get suspended? Oh, no! I can't get suspended!

ETHAN

Why would they suspend you for flooding a bathroom?

ANDREA

I didn’t just flood a bathroom.

(The door to the DETENTION room suddenly opens and TOMMY stands in the doorway.)

TOMMY

Gosh, Andrea, we can hear you sobbing from in here. What’s up?

ANDREA

Yeah, don't pretend you don't know, Tommy. Because of you, I might get suspended!

TOMMY

What are you talking about? Oh, you're talking about the bathroom incident!

(He laughs and turns to ETHAN and hits him on the shoulder)

'Twas the best prank ever, my friend. The best ever!

(He realizes he's never seen ETHAN before).

Who are you?

ETHAN

I'm Ethan. I just moved here.

TOMMY

Sweet! C'mon, Andrea. You can get some studying done while you await your sentence.

Scene 2

(TOMMY, ETHAN, and ANDREA enter the DETENTION room, carrying the books. A TEACHER asleep at the desk in the front of the room, with his head down, and eight STUDENTS occupy it. In the back of the room, ASHLEY and KYLIE sit listening to music on an iPod that is between them. KYLIE is holding two pencils and banging them to the beat of the music like drumsticks. Near the window, STEVE is sitting with a pad and pencil in his hand, drawing furiously. Around him there are crumpled pieces of paper that he has been tossing over his shoulder when he doesn't like what he draws. Near him is a box that is full of various art utensils. On the right side of him is MEGAN, who has thick glasses on her face, making her look like a bug. She is busily typing on a laptop in front of her. ETHAN sets the books on the desk that ANDREA sat down at, and TOMMY sits at a desk next to her and somehow pulls a bag of potato chips out of his pocket. Numerous chip bags litter the floor. ETHAN suddenly spots ERIC, who looks too young to be in high school. He has a pencil resting behind his ear and a back-up pencil in his rear pocket.)

ERIC

(notices ETHAN, just as ALL of the other students do, but rushes over first and grabs ETHAN'S hand to shake it.)

What are you doing here, man? Detention on your first day, huh?

TOMMY

You know this kid?

ERIC

Of course I do! Guys, this is Ethan; he is visiting my family. Ethan, this is Tommy. The one in the corner is Andrea.

(ERIC drags ETHAN across the room and introduces him to STEVE, MEGAN, ASHLEY, and KYLIE.)

ETHAN

Hey, everyone. What exactly are you doing in detention?

TOMMY

Oh, what a story to tell! It was the most wonderful prank in the world, my friend!

ANDREA

No, it wasn’t

TOMMY

Yes it was. Here’s how is started: It was the dead of night, with no creature in the building, not even a mouse…

ASHLEY

Oh, stop exaggerating, Tommy. It was during our free period. Not at night. And stop trying to re-tell a Christmas story.

TOMMY

Okay, okay. So, as I was saying, it was during our free period, when no one was about. There we were, eight of us, sneaking down the hall, following Steve's detailed instructions. Each of us had a small bucket of dynamite...

MEGAN

Will you stop it? It was not dynamite.

TOMMY

Okay, whatever! It wasn’t dynamite. It was dry ice, but from the way it exploded in the toilets, it sure acted like dynamite.

(ANDREA STARTS SOBBING AGAIN.)

TOMMY

Andrea, it wasn’t that bad.

ANDREA

Oh, yes it was!

ASHLEY

The boys headed toward the boys' bathroom, and the girls went straight to the girls' bathroom.

TOMMY

Our explosion was fantastic! We turned on the hot water in the sinks and when that was done filling, we broke a piece of dry ice off and placed it in the sink. The thing started bubbling immediately! We also placed some pieces in the toilets. When we were through, boy, you couldn’t see two feet in front of you!

ANDREA

It wasn’t funny. Especially when the toilet automatically flushed on me, and blew up. The pieces went all over the place, and I wasn't fairing very well either.

TOMMY

Yeah, and after that, a teacher came to see what happened, and as she looked down the hall, she caught us just as we were escaping from the crime scene. It was a sad day, but it felt, oh, so good.

ETHAN

Wow... it sounds like you've got quite an imagination to cook up something like that. And you actually go through with it. Wow...

TOMMY

You have no idea, little buddy.

(Enter the TEACHER who had been giving ETHAN the orientation. The TEACHER who is sitting at the desk gives a grunt and wakes up.)

TEACHER

(glares at the teacher for falling asleep, grabs ETHAN, and hurries him out of the room.)

There you are! Come now, we are way behind schedule!